Signals in the Fog

Rating/Classification: NC-17, Horatio/Archie
Word Count: ~3900
Author's Note: I think this is the first graphic slash I ever wrote, so, caveat lector. Beta credit goes to Widget285.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters
Summary: First Time. "This isn't a dream this time?"

Archie gasped hard, as he came down on Horatio's cock, his mouth wide open breathing rapidly, then he grinned like himself again, wide with white teeth flashing and blue eyes crinkling. Horatio bucked underneath him, then sat up to clasp Archie to him as he spasmed.

Then Horatio woke up with his hand between his legs, sticky in his nightshirt, and looked around, red faced and guilty. The wardroom was quiet, and he heard nothing but snores coming from behind the canvas partitions. He counted one, two lieutenants, one acting lieutenant, three distinct sets of breathing, and breathed a sigh of relief; all was well. Horatio sighed and wiped off his hands, settling back into his blankets. This was not the first time, or even the tenth he had dreamed that dream. He could forget it during the day, or at least push it to the furthest reaches of his mind, where he kept his most cowardly fears and secret wishes, but at night the dreams came out, and he had learned to accept it. These dreams were, at least, preferable to his nightmares of dismemberment and dishonor.

Horatio's breathing quieted and he heard the bells chime, a sound he would have to learn to doze through again, after so long on French shores with no sound of bells, only musket fire and the grisly chop of blade through bone and flesh. Horatio marveled at his equanimity in the face of this most disgraceful of dreams, but, he reflected, a man could get used to anything. Sleep had fled, and Horatio would be on watch at the next bell, so he dressed quietly and took himself up on deck.

The breeze blew stiff from the southeast, and the Indefatigable was close hauled on the starboard tack, making straight for England and home. If the wind held, they would be back in Portsmouth at the next dawn, to report their disgrace and receive new orders. Horatio wondered if Captain Pellew would face a court martial over this failed attempt to retake France. He saw no disgrace, but he was well familiar with the Admiralty's politics and knew they would need a scapegoat; bearers of bad news were seldom welcomed.

His thoughts traveled on this gloomy path as he paced up and down the empty foredeck, until he heard the sound of footsteps behind him, and turned to see Archie Kennedy. He approached hesitantly, and did not speak, until Horatio addressed him quietly.

"Archie," said Horatio. Then, after a moment, "You're not on watch, why aren't you sleeping?"

"I couldn't sleep," he answered, raising his eyes to Horatio's. The breeze ruffled his hair and he absently pushed it aside. Horatio watched, mesmerized by the simplest of movements, and then wrenched his eyes away. He upbraided himself firmly to stop behaving like a besotted schoolgirl. Horatio cleared his throat unnecessarily and resumed his walking.

"Horatio . . ." said Archie, "I've heard a rumor Pellew's to lose his ship."

"Ha—hm," said Horatio. Archie rolled his eyes and tried to hide a smile, Horatio saw this and started smiling, himself. Archie stopped walking and leaned back on the railing.

"You know that doesn't work with me, Horatio, even if it does work with the midshipmen," he said, still smiling.

"Hardly the picture of a remote, imperturbable lieutenant, am I?" asked Horatio, lightly, then, not waiting for an answer said, "What are you to do in Portsmouth if we have no orders?" Horatio did not know what he would do either, but asking first saved him the embarrassment of making that known.

"Depends how long it will be," said Archie, "I thought I'd take some cheap rooms and wait for orders, at least for a short while."

"You wouldn't go home to Scotland?" asked Horatio.

"I don't think so. Orders mightn't reach me in time, and I've scarcely been back since I was twelve," Archie answered. Horatio wanted to clear his throat again, but did not wish to give Archie a chance to laugh at him, so he said nothing.

"You could stay with me, Horatio," Archie continued, "two's cheaper than one." Horatio's heart leapt at the thought, and before he could govern his tongue, he agreed. Then Archie launched into a funny story about Styles and Oldroyd at the bridge near Muzillac, with his own perfect imitations of Styles's blustering good nature, and Oldroyd's obdurate stupidity, and Horatio laughed freely as the sun broke over the horizon. Horatio took his glass from his pocket and saw England in the distance, looking like no more than low-lying clouds from this far off, but growing closer every minute.

***

The breeze did not slacken and they anchored at Portsmouth that night. They spent a few days offloading wounded sailors and empty casks, and then Pellew called the senior officers into the wardroom, and bid them all goodbye.

"Captain Lord Clonfert is to take the Indefatigable," Pellew said without preamble, "He has his own set of lieutenants and midshipmen. No matter. England still needs you. I suggest you make arrangements with the Admiralty for half-pay, and one of you might wish to take the lieutenant's exam. That is all." Pellew was always gruff and abrupt, but Horatio, after long experience with the man, guessed the Admiralty had used him most cruelly.

Those few days spent lingering in Portsmouth told Horatio all he needed to know. The lordly new captain had a full complement of lieutenants, likely as elevated in station as himself, and no need for a nameless penniless lieutenant like Hornblower.

Archie's spirits were high, happy as he was with Pellew's suggestion he stand for the exam, but Horatio gave him monosyllabic answers, and Archie eventually lapsed into silence. They took a mail coach to London and engaged rooms in a cheap inn near the docks and the Admiralty. The house was no prize, the landlady an old shrew who had seen so many penniless lieutenants pass through her house that she gave Horatio and Archie scarcely a second look.

"One shilling extra for a cot to be brought up." Horatio and Archie exchanged a glance and Horatio shook his head slightly, then blushed. He told himself he wanted to save the money, that was all, but the idea of sleeping so close to Archie, warming the same sheets, was too much temptation to resist. Archie shrugged and agreed, and they settled their meager belongings into the room. It was cleaner and slightly larger than the cell they shared in El Ferrol, but not much cleaner. Horatio grimaced; after the spotless order of the Indefatigable under Pellew's flawless discipline, this would be a difficult adjustment.

***

Horatio woke again, in the middle of their second night. Shreds of another dream of Archie still clung to his consciousness but thankfully this dream had not had any physical effect. The night was cool and clear and the moon streamed in through the window. They had spent the day waiting at the Admiralty office to list their names and addresses so the administration could contact them with their next orders. After many hours of waiting, with Archie dozing fitfully on Horatio's shoulder, the clerk finally informed them that a tide of navy officers had broken on England, and there were few ships to take them.

Horatio, who grew more and more restless as the day wore on, envied Archie's catlike ability to sleep anywhere, and--Horatio teased Archie when he awoke and rubbed his face like a sleepy child--everywhere. Horatio was obliged to sit on his hands to prevent them fidgeting, and it took all his self-control not to spend the day pacing the office corridors.

Now it was the moon shining on Archie's lovely face, so slack and peaceful in slumber, that kept Horatio awake. Horatio caught himself before he could brush the hair off Archie's forehead, and settled carefully back onto the mattress, trying not to make a sound. The room seemed unnaturally quiet, free as it was from the incessant sounds of wind and wave and creaking timbers that filled the night on the frigate.

Horatio stared up at the ceiling and tried to settle back to sleep, but his eyes stayed wide open. He lay, trying not to move, lest he disturb Archie, growing more and more uncomfortable in the dark. Finally he rolled over on his side to face away from Archie. He winced at every rustling of the mattress, but Archie did not stir. They had spent other nights together, wakeful, in El Ferrol. When Archie had been wracked with fits and spasms, Horatio had held him quiet and stroked his hair to comfort him, as he would a child. That was before Horatio's dreams had started, before he had run, headlong and ill advisedly into Mariette's arms, before he saw Archie as aught but a dear friend. In those dark nights, Archie had told him of the days on the Justinian before Horatio had arrived. Horatio had listened there in the dark as Archie unburdened himself, and he spoke words of reassurance.

Now Archie slept peacefully, and Horatio spitefully wished Archie was as plagued by demons as he so they could share the long night, but Archie slept on. As Horatio lay silent and tense, willing the night to pass, Archie rolled over in his sleep, flung an arm over Horatio, and curled his body around Horatio's. The feel of Archie's breath on his neck and the warmth of his body relaxed Horatio and he slipped slowly toward sleep.

***

Now that their business with the Admiralty was concluded, Horatio and Archie's days grew long indeed. Horatio found he could earn a few shillings sitting as a fourth in rubbers of whist at the local taverns, but these were usually the petty contests of indifferent players, and his skill made him unwelcome often as not. Archie, for his part, returned to Drury Lane, haunting the playhouses. He came back in the evening full of grinning mirth, which he tried gamely to share with the dour Horatio.

"You'll never guess who I ran into," said Archie, as he came in the door, fairly bouncing with cheerful exuberance.

"I'm quite sure I won't," said Horatio frowning. That afternoon he tallied his winnings and his wages, and found he came up short for his share of the room. When he applied to the landlady for a little more time, she dismissed him with a wave and told him both shares of the room were already paid for.

"Cleveland, the fat sot," said Archie, unperturbed by Horatio's gloomy mood, "He's swiving one of the actresses at the Rose, the girl playing Desdemona. Hah! 'Fat ram tupping the white ewe' and all that. Not quite what the Bard intended I'm sure,"

"Cleveland, indeed," said Horatio shortly, starting to fume. He wanted Archie to notice the snit he was in and presently said, "What do you mean by paying my half of the rent?" Archie opened his mouth and then closed it again.

"My family gives me an allowance, Horatio," said Archie, looking at the floor. He flicked his eyes back up to Horatio's for a moment, and then continued quietly, "I should have realized you would not be pleased."

"Just because I don't have an estate or horses, doesn't mean I can't pay my half of the rent," said Horatio. He was happy with the way he kept his voice from creeping higher as he became more upset, but he saw Archie's open face fall and felt obscurely guilty.

"Pay for next week, if you like," said Archie quietly, then regaining his cheer said, "Or stand a round of drinks tonight. We're off to meet Cleveland and the actresses presently." Horatio hesitated for a moment, casting about for an excuse to stay behind and cultivate this fine ill temper he was in, but Archie's pleading face was difficult to resist, and Horatio acquiesced with an embarrassed smile.

Archie led Horatio through London's streets to the theater district and into a tavern where the large figure of Lieutenant Cleveland sat with a buxom young woman on his lap. His countenance was far more pleasant and engaging than Horatio had ever seen it on the Justinian, and he gave them a warm welcome. Horatio was surprised by this, but allowed Cleveland to clap him on the back and pump his hand vigorously.

They sat down, and Archie called for a round of beer. Horatio noticed that Archie steered the conversations deftly away from the lee shore of their shared memories of the Justinian, and instead spun stories of their time in France, and did a creditable imitation of the Marquis, all bulging eyes, and a spot-on imitation of Lord Edrington.

"You're a fair mimic, Kennedy," said Cleveland, "you would have been a fine actor." Archie inclined his head gracefully and made a mock-bow in his seat. Some unkind impulse took hold of Cleveland and he continued, "Especially if maids' parts were still played by boys. I'm sure you'd have made a better Desdemona than my Kate there." Archie scarcely had time to flush before Horatio flew to his feet and hauled Cleveland up by his collar.

"That is an insulting remark to my friend," he hissed at Cleveland. Some detached part of his mind tried to caution him, reminding him how badly Captain Pellew looked on dueling, but the rushing of blood to his head shouted down that voice. Cleveland paled and did not give Horatio time to issue a challenge. For the best, Horatio thought later, it would look odd indeed to fight a duel on another man's behalf.

"I meant nothing by it, Mr. Hornblower," he said, pulling away from Horatio and adjusting his collar, "'Twas an unkind jest, and I apologize." Cleveland looked back and forth between Archie and Horatio, uncertain to whom his apology should be tendered. Archie still sat, looking pained and tired; his eyes pleading with Horatio to let this go. Horatio nodded and pulled down on his jacket to straighten it.

"Quite so," said Horatio with forced jocularity. "No hard feelings. Another round, on me."

"I'll get this one," said Cleveland, smiling hesitantly. Archie broke the tension again by asking about Cleveland's adventures since they last saw him. As with many men, Cleveland was most at ease talking of himself, and Horatio relaxed while listening to Cleveland talk, and admiring Archie by the firelight. He felt the blissful lassitude that the right amount of alcohol could bring. It was something he did not often allow himself, because of the loss of sound judgment, but this moment, it was quite welcome.

Horatio drifted further from the conversation while staring into the fire, but came back to himself when he saw that one of the other actresses had settled herself on Archie's lap. She was, Horatio thought privately, an ill-favored thing, too tall and angular, with a wide petulant mouth and curly brown hair, but Archie seemed to like her. The girl was a trifle shy and diffident, but warmed in the face of Archie's charm and what ever he was whispering to her. Horatio shifted in his seat as he watched Archie's lips brush the girl's ear. Those lips were soft, pink, and open, and had figured prominently in many of Horatio's more enjoyable dreams. He had to pull his eyes away and, not knowing what else to do, cleared his throat loudly.

Archie turned lazy, half-lidded eyes on him, and Horatio flushed. "I think I'll call for another round," he said quickly, anything to fill the sudden quiet, "Who's with me?" Archie smiled and said yes, and Cleveland, whose face was quite hidden in Kate's breasts, came up for air to grin and nod. As the barmaid brought another tray of pints, a round, golden-haired girl sat down next to Horatio, and flirted at him from beneath lowered lashes, twirling a strand of golden hair around her finger.

Horatio smiled uncomfortably at the girl, wracking his brain for something to say, but all charming words and phrases had fled. Archie, noticing this, turned around and introduced Horatio to the girl. She was, of course, another actress and was quite willing to tell Horatio all about the plays she had been in in simpering tones that soon made him wish Captain Pellew was taking him to task in the wardroom; anything was preferable to this torment.

Archie and Cleveland both seemed preoccupied and Horatio was growing tired, so he cleared his throat again to get Archie's attention. "I'm sure you can find your way home, Archie, but I don't expect I shall see you until morning," he said with a smile that felt sad and false. Archie unceremoniously tipped the girl off his lap so he could turn around and face Horatio.

"Christine doesn't strike your fancy, Horatio?" Archie asked lightly.

"None of these ladies are for me, I'm afraid," Horatio answered, wondering if he said too much.

"I'm sorry, Horatio, I forgot about your girl in France. I understand," said Archie, with an ironic twist of a smile that did not touch his eyes.

"No," said Horatio, and before he could stop himself, "It is not her I'm thinking of." He looked at Archie, brown eyes wide and questioning for an instant before lowering his gaze again.

"I see," said Archie, and he put his warm hand on Horatio's cold one where it rested on the table. Horatio thrilled to the deliberate touch, and his stomach fluttered. He looked at Archie, eyes full of wonder, and saw the same look reflected back at him. They made hasty farewells to Cleveland and the ladies. Cleveland scarcely noticed and the actresses looked sulky, but Horatio spared little thought for them.

They walked in silence back to the inn, hands lightly brushing in the night and then pulling away again. Horatio's mind was oddly still, waiting, like the calm before a battle, but infinitely more pleasurable.

Archie lit the bedside candle and turned to Horatio. "Wha—" Horatio began, but Archie raised his fingers to Horatio's lips and quieted him. With tantalizing languor Archie moved toward him and brushed Horatio's lips with his own. Horatio's heart beat hard in his chest. Archie pulled back and looked at him questioningly for a moment before smiling, open mouthed, eyes half-closed. Now Horatio moved toward him and crushed their mouths together, pulled Archie's body to him, and wrapped his arms around Archie's back.

Horatio felt Archie's hands un-tuck the fabric of his shirt, and then Archie pulled Horatio's shirt off. With shaking hands Horatio did the same. They stood kissing urgently, bare chests pressed together, for a moment, and then pulled each other down onto the bed. In that moment, Horatio became uncertain again.

"I'm not, I mean I've never . . ." said Horatio lamely. Archie smiled with half of his mouth, and kissed Horatio's lips lightly, then bent and sucked at the skin of his neck, making Horatio sigh and shiver.

"What I mean to say is . . ." Horatio tried to gather his dignity and continue. Archie took hold of Horatio's head on both sides.

"Horatio, don't worry." Again that half-smile, "I'll show you the way." Urgency warred with tenderness as they fell back into the bed. Archie climbed on top of Horatio and started kissing his chest.

"Archie . . ." said Horatio, between gasps, "I may not last if you continue doing that." Archie smiled, sat up and never taking his eyes from Horatio's took out the band that held back his hair. He scooted down further, pinning Horatio's legs as he undid Horatio's trousers. Horatio felt himself spring up comically now that he was released. Archie bent and took Horatio in his mouth. His hair, glowing golden in the candlelight spilled over Horatio's stomach. It only took a few strokes of Archie's skillful tongue and lips before Horatio was overcome. He moaned and clasped Archie's shoulder as he came. Archie sat up grinning and licking his lips.

Horatio realized he was still wearing his shoes and stockings and that his trousers were bunched up around his knees. He rolled Archie over on his back, and quickly divested himself of the rest of his clothing before setting to work on Archie's. Horatio's breath caught at seeing Archie spread beneath him, perfectly bare, with his hair spread around him on the pillow.

He kissed Archie's lips and then his neck, working his way down Archie's chest, feeling he could never get enough of that soft, warm skin and that scent, both familiar and exotic. He was licking and teasing one nipple when he felt Archie's hand on the side of his face. He looked up; Archie's mouth was open and he was breathing quickly.

"Horatio," he said, "I may have a similar problem." Horatio smiled then and bent to lick Archie's cock. For a moment his self-consciousness got the better of him again and he hesitated.

"It's easy," said Archie. "Just remember: no teeth." Horatio felt Archie was having fun with him, in more than one way, but he obeyed the instructions and took Archie firmly in his mouth. He was just beginning to find a rhythm, listening to Archie's gasps, when Archie climaxed and cried out. Horatio felt awkward then and tried to decide whether it was better to climb into bed next to Archie or fetch a glass of water, when Archie sat up and embraced him.

"Oh Horatio," he said, "You don't know how I've wished for this."

"I, too." A cold draft blew through the room and sent them scurrying under the blankets, where they lay, arms and legs entangled, pressing close together.

"I had hopes, in El Ferrol, when you were so kind and tender . . . "

"I didn't know yet," said Horatio, "at least I didn't let myself know." Archie kissed him deeply in answer, and the kisses became more urgent. They stroked each other under the blankets as they kissed, tongues and hands and legs intertwined, until the blankets seemed quite warm, and they reached release. Archie stood up, handed Horatio a washcloth to clean up and blew out the candle. Then they slept, Horatio wrapped around Archie, until Horatio woke some time later that night.

These winter nights were long, and though Horatio thought they might be nearing morning, the sky outside was still dark as a night in London could be. He tried not to move, feeling the delicious weight of Archie still in his arms, and Archie's fine hair still tickling his face. Still, Archie felt his slight movements and turned over to face him. He kissed Horatio's shoulder sleepily, and then, with a contented sigh, nestled deeper into the circle of Horatio's arms.

"It wasn't a dream this time, was it?" said Horatio, brushing Archie's hair away from his face.

"No, Horatio, it wasn't."


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